Anonymous asked:
How is eating for you?

hmm sometimes i forget what i say on my blog and in my head.

A couple of weeks ago I reached my highest weight for five and a half years. After this I struggled to continue to reach 3000 calories a day and probably got between 2500 and 3000.

I think I have continued to gain and I am very happy with my body most of the time, though, saying that, sometimes I look in the mirror and am horrified by the size of my arms, or looked down and am overwhelmed by my stomach, but I try to attribute these moments to ED because most of the time I think I’m pretty hot and pretty lucky. 

I’ve tried to stop counting calories recently because I’ve realised that I’m happy with my body and with what I eat, the counting of calories and sighing of my body is completely unnecessary for my health and just holds me back. 

SO I am going to try and permanently stop counting calories and try to go several months at a time without weighing myself (I think I probably should keep a rough track of my weight just in case I slip back).

We shall see how this goes, but not counting calories has been successful for two days so far.

Anonymous asked:
What's passover?

I’m feeling much better today (yay!). I haven’t been super productive but also haven’t put pressure on myself to be so, so it feels okay ;)

And I am bout to go to my first ever passover at Mikey’s house! Yay Jews!


This needed to be on my blog

(Source: pointlesszalfietv)


snickers birthday cake! (recipe)

I want this.

So, how do you live?

I know how to recover. Eat, promise to eat, eat more. Stand in the mirror, promise yourself that your being is beautiful. That the growing stomach and thighs are just growing with power over your toxic mind. Insist you are perfect and wonderful until you believe it.

But how do you actually live?

How do you not write, think, breathe the ghost of your disorder? You’ve spent a decade slowly killing yourself from the inside out. How do you find yourself without your sickness? I can’t help but wonder what will happen to me when I am no longer the snide, sick bitch with puke stains on her cheek. I can’t help but wonder how will they react when you are no longer a dying patient. Who will I become when I can no longer introduce myself as the girl with an eating disorder?

How do you live?

Michelle K., How Do You Live? (via michellekpoems)

Guys my body hurts with sadness and I don’t know why. I have no reason to be sad.

What can I do?

Hello dessert.

Anonymous asked:
now you know how to do tabs you could make a tab like from all the pics of your food, your face, your life etc.... just an idea :) have a sunny sunday

haha I can’t believe anyone would care enough my life to look at these! But i have made two tabs, ‘me’ and ‘my food’, though I haven’t finished tagging everything yet. It’s excellent procrastination. 

Dip galore. I ❤️ humous